What to Say and What Not to Say to a Mother-to-Be

I got this article off the Pregnancy Weekly website (www.pregnancyweekly.com). A good read for those non-preggers - so you know what to say to new moms.

What to Say and What Not to Say to a Mother-to-Be

Understand pregnancy for what it is: A wonderful and beautiful experience, wrapped up in a colossal shift in hormones! Not only is the new mother dealing with the uncomfortable symptoms of pregnancy, but also with anxieties and fears of motherhood (not to mention feeling like a beached whale half the time!). New mothers need a tremendous amount of compassion and support throughout the nine months of pregnancy, and beyond.

Here are a few things to keep in mind when offering advice, support or criticism to a new mother:

On the Issue of Pregnancy and Postpartum Weight:
What to Say (All with Sincerity):
Honey, you look terrific!
Pregnancy becomes you.
You need to gain weight, our baby's well-being depends on it!
Honey, you just had a baby! You look great for just having a baby!
You're having our baby! That automatically makes you beautiful!

What NOT to Say:
Wow, you're BIG for____months!
Well, at least people know you're pregnant!
Should you be eating that? You don't want to gain too much weight.
Hey, try breastfeeding! That should take the weight off!
Oh, I didn't realize you already had your baby!

On the Issue of Bottle Feeding vs. Breastfeeding:
What to Say:
Whatever you decide to do, dear. The baby will be healthy either way.
Let's take a breastfeeding class together.
I know a friend who's breastfeeding her child. I'll put you in touch with her.
There are lots of great formulas out there for you to choose from.
Breastfeeding is a beautiful experience to enjoy with your baby.

What NOT to Say:
Breastfeeding is for mothers who are too cheap to buy formula.
I wouldn't breastfeed if I were you. I tried for three months and gave up because it was too hard.
Formula is unhealthy for babies. He'll be sick all the time.
Mothers who love their babies breastfeed their babies.
Breastfeeding is "dirty" and perverted, especially if done in public.

On the Issue of Child Rearing:
What to Say:
I would love to give you advice on anything you need. Just let me know.
I've got some great books on parenting. Would you like to borrow them?
Let's take a parenting class together. That way, we can be prepared.
Parenthood is challenging, but I know you'll be great at it!
Follow your heart. You know what's best for your child.

What NOT to Say:
Well, here is what I (my mother, Aunt Mabel, Dr. So-n-so, etc.,) think/thinks is best for your baby.
This is the only book worth reading on parenting!
Just you wait when this baby is born; you'll see how difficult parenting is!
Always/Never pamper your children, give them time outs, etc. (In fact, eradicate the words "always" and "never" from your vocabulary when discussing parenting!)
Well, if I were you...

My Dream Vacation

I fell in love with Santorini, one of the islands off Greece after I watch The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. I vow to myself that I'll save enough money to visit this beautiful sanctuary within the next three years (ok, make that five). Meanwhile, all I can do is drool at the photos of the place.

A Hot Night = A Pissed Off Me

It's very hot, tonight. I am perspiring, non-stop. This despite me showering twice and having the fan blown at me on full speed!

Other than being incredibly hot, I said some harsh things on msn to my dear friend. I feel crappy about how I delivered my thoughts. I feel I could be more diplomatic with my words but being physically hot, didnt exactly help me to keep my cool. All these said, I am not apologising for what I said cos' I meant them - only that I could have delivered it in a better way.... Hmmm, am I making sense here?

To My Dear Friend

One of my dearest friend is feeling down. I am at my wits' end as I don't know how I can help my friend. But I just want to say to that person (you know who you are) -

That no matter how frustrating things are,
How things are not going right for you,
You'll always have a friend in me.

I'll always be here for you,
And in my eyes you are strong,
You'll overcome this rough patch in no time at all.

I care for you and I am thankful to have a wonderful friend like you....

Checklist for Hospital Bag for Admission

Here's another useful list that I had gathered. This is for the "Hospital Bag" and it should be packed, ideally by your seventh month in case you have to deliver prematurely.

Daddy’s & mommy’s identity cards
Letter from Gynecologist
Booking Slip for admission
Notebook, writing materials

For Baby
2 baby tops (1 long-sleeve, 1 short sleeve)
1 bottom
2 pair of mittens and booties (preferably baby-socks coz' booties are too big on new born
2 receiving blanket with-hoods
1 swaddling cloth
Handkerchiefs
1 baby soft cap (if the receiving blanket hood is too big)

For Mommy
Maternity or Normal pads (Day & Night use)
2 pyjamas with front opening buttons for nursing
Slippers
Inflatable ring (After Episiotomy) - can loan from hospital too
1 pack disposable panties
Clothes for after discharge
Books/Magazines
2 nursing bras
Disposable Nursing pads
1 face towel
1 bath towel
Toiletries
A pair of socks (if feeling-cold at night)
Plastic bags for soiled clothings
Handphone & charger
Breast Pump
Snacks in case you don’t like hospital food
Nipple cream
Fybogel – can get from Pharmacy (Drink a pack aft delivery... makes it easier to move your bowels cos with the stitches below, it can get quite painful)

For Daddy/Miscellaneous
A jacket
Digital camera (CF card, batteries, charger)
Video-cam (batteries, tapes)
Essence of chicken/Red bull
Chocolate bars-& snacks
Tissues/ Wet tissues
2 bottles of Mineral Water

Note: I was advised not to wear my contact lenses. So for those who wants to wear your contact lenses upon discharge, just bring them but make sure you don't wear them when you are going for delivery.

Essentials for Preggy Moms & Babies

Seeing that I'll be a first time mom, I decided to do some research on the items that I'll be needing for my baby. My other preggy friends had told me to start buying the items for my baby before my seventh month cos 1. in case I have to give birth prematurely (I hope not) 2. once I am in the third trimester, I'll be more tired and "heavier" and shopping will be quite an inconvenient.

Anyway, I want to share the list of essential items that preggy moms should get:

A. Clothing

Baby abdominal binder - 5
Swaddling cloth - 4
Hat - 2
Mittens - 5
Booties - 5
Short pants - 3
Long pants - 3
Short sleeved shirt (button) - 2
Short sleeved shirt (side-tying) - 2
Long sleeved shirt (button) - 2
Long sleeved shirt (side-tying) - 2
Romper (short sleeved) - 4
Romper (long sleeved) - 2
Socks - 5

B. Sleeping

Baby Cot/Playpen - 1 (I am considering getting the baby cot cum playpen as it's more cost-effective)
Baby pillow - 2
Bolster - 2
Bedding sets - 2
Blanket - 1
Mattress - 1
Waterproof sheet - 1

C. Daily Essentials

Baby wet wipes
Baby detergent
Bottle brush - 1
Diaper
Milk powder container
Teats - 2
Pacifier - 2
Feeding bottle - 3
Bottle warmer -2
Ear thermometer - 1
Fever cool plaster
Changing mat - 1
Steam steriliser - 1
Sterilising tablets

D. Bathing

Nappy rash cream
Baby shampoo
Baby bath gel
Bath towel
Face towel
Bath mat
Baby powder
Bath sponge
Bath tub
Baby lotion/oil
Miniature set of bath essentials - for travelling or to put at caretaker's place

E. Breast Feeding

Breast pump - 1 (manual/electric)
Disposable breast pad
Nipple cream/Breast care gel
Breastmilk storage bag
Stretch mark cream

F. Travelling
Baby carrier
Baby stroller (I plan to get a lightweight stroller and am considering brands like Combi and BabyCraft cos' they are cheap, light and durable -- cost less than $200)
Diaper bag
Feeding set
Travel changing mat

I hope the list is useful. Do let me know if I miss out on any other important items. Happy shopping! :)

Tutti Fruitti

This is quite accurate… Make a guess which fruit I am...

Fruit Personality Test

Did you know that you can tell what kind of personalities people have by the kind of fruits they like? Click on the name of the fruit you picked to see your personality.

Which fruit would you pick first if you were handed the following:
1. Orange
2. Apple
3. Banana
4. Coconut
5. Pineapple
6. Papaya
7. Mango
8. Cherry
9. Black Grapes
10. Peach
11. Custard Apple
12. Pear

ORANGE
If an orange is your favorite fruit, it speaks of a person who has enduring patience and willpower. You like to do things slowly, but very thoroughly and are completely undaunted by hard work. You tend to be shy, but are reliable and a trustworthy friend. You select your partner with care and you love with all your heart. You avoid conflict at all costs.

APPLE
If an apple is your favorite fruit, you are an extravagant, impulsive and outspoken person, often with a bit of a temper. While you may not be the best organizer yourself, you make a good team leader and are good at moving things forward. You can take quick action in most situations. You enjoy travel immensely. You ooze with charm when you are with your partner. You have an enthusiasm for life, unmatched by most.

BANANA
You are a softie! Loving, gentle, warm and sympathetic by nature is the banana lover. You often lack in self-confidence and are quite timid by nature. People often take advantage of your sweet temperedness, and sheer vulnerability to a situation. You adore your partner in every which way, both for their mental and physical beauty! Because of the way you are, your relationship is always very much in harmony!

COCONUT
The coconut lover is a serious, very thoughtful and contemplative person. Though you enjoy socializing, you are particular about the company you keep. You tend to be stubborn but not necessarily foolhardy. Shrewd, quick-witted and alert, you ensure that you are right on top of any given scenario, especially at work. You need a partner with brains and while passion is important it certainly isn't everything for you.

PINEAPPLE
You are quick to decide and even quicker to act. You are brave in making career changes. You have exceptional organizing abilities and are undaunted by the size of the task at hand. You tend to be self reliant, sincere and honest in your dealings with others. Though you don't often make friends very quickly, once you do, it is for life. You rarely, if ever, make romantic overtures. Your partner is often impressed with your sterling qualities but disappointed in your ability to show affection.

PAPAYA
You are truly fearless and take much that happens in life in stride. You give considerable thought to things you do. You have a sense of humor that along with your generous nature keeps you in most people's good books. You are a go-getter in your professional life, and have a knack for being in the right place at the right time. You enjoy meeting new people and seeing new sights whenever you can. Your sense of humor is what attracts members of the opposite sex to you more than anything else. It is simply charming!

MANGO
A mango lover is a personality to be reckoned with, quite often it's a person who has quite fixed ideas, and influencing you is not an easy task. You tend to be an extremist with strong likes and dislikes, and at times even like to control a situation. You enjoy getting involved in something that presents mental challenge. Strong as you may be, you are like a kitten when you are with your partner. You accommodate the love of your life, and make up for all the strong will elsewhere!

CHERRY
If cherry is your favorite fruit, life isn't always as sweet for you. You often face ups and downs, particularly professionally, and find that you make small sums of $$$, instead of a lump sum. You have a fertile imagination and are often involved in creative pursuits. You are a very sincere and loyal partner, but find that expressing your feelings is not very easy. Your home is your haven, and you love nothing more than being surrounded by close family and your beloved partner.

BLACK GRAPES
You are a polite person in general, but do have quick flare-ups of temper that cool down just as quickly. You enjoy beauty in all forms, including beautiful people. You are very popular because of your warm, gregarious nature. You have a zest for life, you enjoy everything you do, right from the way you dress, to your style and your day-to-day life. Your partner must share your zeal and zing for life to enjoy all you have to offer!

PEACH
Like a peach, you enjoy the juice of life and all its lush ripeness! You are the friendly sort, and are quite frank and outspoken, which adds to your charm. You are quick to forgive and forget; and value your friendships highly. You have an independent and ambitious streak in you, that makes you a real go-getter. You are the ideal lover, fiery and passionate but sincere and faithful in love. You don't however like to display all that passion in public.

CUSTARD APPLE
You are a modest and conservative person who can be quite sensitive at times. You tend to be thoughtful and contemplative, and therefore are rarely rash in doing things. You are quite ambitious and are good at anything that requires much detailing or working with numbers. You are quick at finding fault with others. While looking for a partner, you value a person's intellect far above their looks or good old passion. You are quite shy and not very comfortable demonstrating affection.

PEAR
If you put your mind to something you can do it successfully, but by and large you tend to be fickle and have trouble completing a task with the enthusiasm you started it with. You need to know the results of your efforts almost immediately. You enjoy mental stimulation and love to get into a good discussion!

A mango lover is what I am........ ;)